Secret Garden

iPhone :)

2009-11-28T13:29:18Z

One of the main reasons I couldn't update this often is my desktop is still not hooked up - it doesn't have wireless capability, so it wouldn't have access to the net anyway. However, as a Yule gift Joe got me an iPhone. :) so now it is very easy to update!

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

derilaan @ 2009-10-15T14:14:00

2009-10-15T18:22:51Z

A very quick update to say I will be updating more often now that things have gotten into a pattern and Thomas is sleeping longer at night (which means I am less of a zombie during the day) He is doing great and is a very good baby! He only cries if he needs something, and now whenever he sees me or wakes up when I am there he smiles so big, it makes my heart burst with happiness.

We use cloth diapers during the day and disposables at night ( the wetness was waking him up every hour at night) He loves baths and on bath night, after a relaxing warm bath and some lavender baby lotion he sleeps for around 6 hours!

Sometimes he is really snuggly and will only go to sleep if I hold him. Nestled near me he snoozes right off and sleeps so well...in his crib he tosses and turns and fusses, poor boy!

We both had a cold this past week (caught it from his cousins!) but we're both feeling better.

He is drinking lots of breakstmilk. Because of the bumpy start the lactation people told me to just pump milk because he wouldn't latch or feed. Everyday in the hospital they tried to help us but in the end he ate out of a bottle. Once in awhile I can get him to latch, but as long as he gets the nutrients, immunities and other good stuff from my milk I guess I don't care how he eats it.

My days are pretty busy between taking care of chores and a squirmy hungry baby but it's very nice. I watched way too much TV these past couple months, so instead I'm going to read books while I feed him or hold him while he sleeps instead of rotting my brain on Law and Order and game shows, haha! I make sure he doesn't face the TV so he doesn't get used to watching it.

From headache to baby is a few crazy steps.

2009-08-30T17:57:28Z

Saturday morning, August 15th, I awoke with a bad headache. I figured I had slept crooked on my 50 pillow incline and so spent the day trying to battle the pain with acetaminophen and a rice bag heated, but each time either wore off the pain came back. Joe massaged my neck and we put Icy Hot on my neck, woke up Sunday to neck pain gone but the headache still in full force.

I called my doctor on Sunday and the nurse thought I might have high blood pressure, but I wasn't swelling anywhere, saw no spots and was stubborn so I didn't go get it checked. The headache seemed to subside by the afternoon and I thought maybe I was being silly.

Monday morning I have a migraine. I called my doc again, sheepishly explain my stubborness and they have me come in right away.

At 1:30pm, the doctor takes a look at my blood pressure, and at the history of slightly ever climbing pressure and tells me I am to be admitted into the hospital immediately and induced the next morning.

That night, August 17th, they give me the first step of the induction medication, which the nurse tells my mom rarely causes active labor. A few hours later I am apparently in active labor having major contractions, two minutes apart. I was told I was only dilated to 4 cm. They decided the pain I was feeling was worth doing an epidural and they would not give me the pitocin in the morning.

As soon as they give me the epidural, my blood pressure crashes and with it Thomas' heartbeat. They said the placenta sometimes stops sending blood and tried rolling me into different positions to get the placenta working.

It was at this point that the room suddenly exploded with nurses. A lot of running and calling was done and I was told Thomas was in duress and I would need an emergency C section.

Everything got really blurry at this point. I was sobbing an apology to everyone because I somehow thought that by getting the epidural I caused this to happen. Joe was getting dressed in scrubs to be at the OR. I remember being wheeled through the halls, looking up and thinking, "This is like on TV, I hope I won't ever be in this position again so I might as well remember the lights going by."

I remember the doctor telling Joe he couldn't go into the OR and to kiss me goodbye.

I remember two nurses running up and yelling at the nurse pushing me that the doc said to hurry and them grabbing the gurney I was on and running.

I remember telling the doctor I wasn't sleepy, those were the last words I said before falling under the general anethesia.

I remember thinking it was somewhat possible I could die, and thinking, "Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe," so the last thought in my mind would be his name.

I woke up to Joe. I turned to him and said, "Where's Thomas?" and he told me we had a beautiful healthy boy.

Thomas had two knots in his umbilical cord, something the doctor said he had never seen before. His APGAR score at birth was 4, which quickly raised to 8 after a few minutes.

He was born at 6:11am on August 18th. He was born 7lbs4oz and his length at birth was 20 inches.

I spent that day on a morphine drip and barely remember anything. I know at one point I started having a conversation with Joe completely in gibberish, telling him some story using nonsense words.

I spent Wednesday confined to bed and drugged, so I apologize to everyone that visited that I was so out of it.

Breastfeeding has been a huge challenge, because between the c-section, anesthesia, and painkillers and the fact that Thomas had a huge issue with latching on he just didn't get fed for the first two days. Since then, using formula and my infamous stubborness, we have gotten him to feed and even when he doesn't I pump extra for bottle feedings.

He is wonderful in every way. I can't even describe how I feel. He is so cute and sweet and somehow I don't get grossed out when I'm pooped on and even though I am scared to death and check his breathing every ten minutes, I feel complete and full and thankful for the precious gift and miracle I have been given.

You can see lots of photos of Thomas, Joe and I at our Flickr photostream: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jsavino/ I'm pretty sure Joe has it set to public.

I can't say I have a ton of time to update, but I will be trying to update my journal a lot more now that I'm not crazy exhausted (I'm still exhausted but at least I can sleep it off when he naps!)

derilaan @ 2009-08-22T09:02:00

2009-08-22T13:03:52Z

Thomas Scott Savino was born at 6:11am on August 18th, 2009 via emergency C-section. He is perfect and wonderful and I can't even say how grateful I am to the doctors and nurses at Health Park. Once I rest a little more I will type up the whole birth story.

update ahoy!

2009-07-17T14:29:08Z

First off, I apologize for the lack of updates. The last month has been so stupid crazy that it's been easier to drop a one line update on Facebook than type it all out here.

Soooo...we got the house! Of course, we closed a mere 24 hours before we had to be out of our apartment...so Joe and his mom worked 21 hours straight to move everything (at 1:30am they sent me to bed).

I love this house. There is still a lot to unpack, but I got the kitchen, bathrooms and our master bedroom all settled. The main room left is my studio.

We are painting the nursery tomorrow :) Then I get to organize it and fill it up with stuff wheee~

I am 34 weeks along in my pregnancy and Thomas has turned so his head is down low. It's very crazy to think in a month or so I will have a son. It's both too far away and coming up way too fast!

As soon as I find my camera I will take house pictures and post them here. I can't wait to get my studio in order so I can work on a couple illustrations I have in mind. Of course I have nursery projects to do too!

derilaan @ 2009-05-28T00:25:00

2009-05-28T04:25:48Z

eBay o-rama is upon me again!

whew...almost...done with all this anime stuff....some of it is stamped 1993 o_O

derilaan @ 2009-05-24T14:05:00

2009-05-24T18:05:10Z

Cat Physics Rule #4: If a pair of pants is laying on any flat surface, a cat will be attracted to it and will exert double gravity when removal is necessary.

Cat Physics Rule #4 corollary: Even if a cat is 95% brown and black, she will only shed white hairs all over said pants

derilaan @ 2009-05-17T11:29:00

2009-05-17T15:29:20Z

Been doing most updates on facebook (which are very short) so here's a summary:

- Buying a house, the deal almost fell through because the seller (bank) wouldn't approve an extension for the closing date, which we needed because loan companies are running behind in underwriting. We think we worked it out and hopefully will be closing on it soon. I have a LOT to pack because I spent the last weeks weeks sick/in limbo over whether we were getting this house or not, so now I have to hustle!

- Had pneumonia/bronchitis for a few weeks. Symptoms started on April 15th and I am still with a sore throat/cough, but the doctor's can't give me anything other than cough syrup because of the pregnancy. The cough syrup has codeine so when I take it I become a zombie, so I haven't taken it lately.

- Doc did put me back on Zoloft. I had experienced two panic attacks, which were manageable (except for one of them was in a Target which wasn't fun) but my nightmares came back full force and I was jumpy and feeling anxious constantly. Then I started feeling like all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry, which can only be chalked up to mommy hormones for so long. I didn't want my PTSD to become full out depression, and doc agreed. I'm relieved beyond words; I can't wait until it kicks in and I am normal feeling again.

- Speaking of baby, he is apparently taking kickboxing lessons in my tummy because my insides are sore from being pummeled, haha :) Funny thing is, the more active I am, the less he kicks, so on days I work or run errands he is probably swayed to sleep, but if I sit down he starts squirming and kicking. I can't even describe how it feels to have something living inside you and feel it moving around. I feel like some slithery alien is inside my stomach!

- We are going next weekend to see Star Trek with Joe's dad and sis and it will be a lot of fun! Joe's dad is a huge Trekkie so it will be nice to geek out with him and Joe. :)

- My sister is getting round with her pregnancy. I thought I was showing but I look flat compared to her haha :) Oh goodness we are going to have boys running everywhere ahhh! It also mazes me how much my nephew Christian talks now. He is two and a half and just chatters away. He's in the "MINE MINE" stage but he is very cute even when he is being naughty (which is most of the time). I think my sister tried to explain to him how I was her big sister, because now he keeps saying he has a big sister too. He's going to be a fun big brother and cousin!

- I found out I am not eligible for FMLA by a small margin. Bleagh. I'm going to start researching day cares. As much as I hate the idea of putting a baby in daycare....I think that stage is so important to be with him, but we'll see how it works out. Maybe I can just ChaCha like crazy or get my bag shop running...I have to finish the bags I have so far. :3

derilaan @ 2009-04-18T19:12:00

2009-04-18T23:12:12Z

$2.75 more and I will have made my first $100 on ChaCha :)
(it's been months since I felt well enough to concentrate on working on it)
I think I will go on a baby shopping spree with it and buy toys and books :3

mega huge update time

2009-04-04T16:14:36Z

I have been so tired lately that I haven't felt much like sitting down and writing out blog posts. A lot is going on right now, my plate is a bit overflowing. :)

Strangely, the least stressful is baby. :) I feel little kicks and weird movements now and then. My morning sickness ended at sixteen weeks ugggh...but now I don't feel sick at all (just hungry). I haven't had any super weird cravings; when I was sick I craved pickles, probably because they were so juicy and salty (the whole time I have wanted salt, salt, salt) and now I am eating all kinds of fruit everyday. I feel like the Very Hungry Caterpillar, lol. I'm having trouble sleeping, but my sister says that's part of pregnancy. I'm really forgetful, which sucks.

Joe and I have discussed some things and so far we have agreed to a jungle animal theme for the nursery (and by agree I mean me waving tiger crib sheets at him in Babies'R'Us and squealing "THESE ARE SOOOOO CUTE OMG PLEASE!!!" The color scheme is going to be green, blue and yellows (blue sky, green jungle and lions, giraffes, you get the idea).

We have decided to use cloth diapers. My mom is aghast at this and is telling us how gross it will be at every minute, but here's how we see it: First, disposables are crazy expensive. Second, it is said by the time a baby is one years old you have changed over 2,000 diapers. Disposables all end up in landfills. Yes, cloth diapers use energy to wash and water and in some cases soap runoff, but the landfill is going nowhere. Cleaner and more efficient energy sources are being worked on, water is becoming more renewable, and we found an excellent source that says you can pre-wash with vinegar and baking soda, so the soap used is minimal.

We have also decided that for at least the first couple years, we won't be buying any franchised character items. I see too many kids plopped in front of a TV as a babysitter or to calm them down when personal interaction would go a lot further. Yes, I know that by the time baby is one I will probably wish I hadn't said this, but people had to do something before there was TV. Listen to music, play with toys, but so many studies have shown even Baby Einstein to have adverse affects on vocabulary and learning skills. I don't watch television usually, so why should my kid? Yes, by age six he will be plopped in front of whatever runs as Saturday Morning cartoons with cereal, but not at six months.

So, it wouldn't make sense to buy Spongebob/Elmo/Backyardigans etc if he's not going to know those shows. I want him to be able to point at a goldfish and say, "fish" before he says, "Dorothy" (Elmo's fish). Book characters are okay, as I added a couple Eric Carle toys to our registry, but TV is not big in our house and I won't make it big just for a little one who might be fussy.

Registering has been very overwhelming, mainly because we are registered at three different places. Joe's family always just orders everything online, so we first registered at Amazon. Then my mom and sister complained that they didn't want to shop online, so we registered at Babies'R'Us. Then I realized that all the everyday things like towels and bibs were either dumb (who the hell wants their one year old to say "Stud" or "Chicks dig me" on their chest? I think these people need to read the essay from Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old like a Skank) or expensive, so I went to Target and registered all the cheap stuff like washcloths and towels and such. Not to mention every store had stuff each other store didn't carry (Amazon has all the cloth diapering stuff, Target had a whole display of home safety and travel saefty stuff, and Babies'R'Us had a ton of stuff). Whew. I'm SURE I am missing something. It's crazy how much is needed for a baby. I think this kid's gonna have more stuff than I do.

OK! Enough of baby! On to the next BIG NEWS: Joe and I won a bid on a house! We have loved this house since the first time we saw it, but even then we bid on another house (and lost) before realizing we should just go for the one that won our hearts out of the hundred or so we looked at. The only stressful thing now is it needs some repairs and some major work. We have to redo the deck completely and there is a shoddily made workshop that is awesome but we have to demolish for now, and then yesterday we found out the roof needs a lot of work. :/ But, any house in our price range is going to need work, not to mention most homes are foreclosures so who knows what condition they are in. When Charlie and Francis hurricanes hit years ago, a lot of people didn't bother to fix their roof afterwards. So probably any house we look at will have roof problems. I told Joe I will learn any skill possible to keep this house. If I have to learn to bang a deck together with a papoose on my back so be it. This is a big house for the money, four bedrooms and two of the bedrooms are huge. One of them is being split in half (by a curtain) to make kid play area on one side and my own art studio on the other. Am I going to give up this chance to have my own studio area, to not worry if we have another kid in the future to have to give up space for them somewhere else? No. This house is big enough to grow in, and we are both happy thinking we might be living there for ten years at least.

Finally, I am trying to apply to the local state college to re-start my bachelor's degree. It has been very stressful (only because I originally wanted to go back to FGCU and dealing with them makes me violent and want to napalm the entire campus.) but hopefully next week I will make it down there to apply and see about taking a distance learning course this fall. I figure, hey, I'm going to be 24 hours a day for three months from September to November anyway, and if it is an online class or distance learning I can type while breastfeeding or watching a lecture. It will give me something to do for myself while not taking time from baby, and one class isn't going to kill me (I love school anyway). So, we'll see how it all works out. I am scrapping my art major (because classes at both colleges were "painting 101" or "ceramics 101" and a ton of art history) and going for Elementary Education. I don't want to teach really, though I love kids, but I figure it will make a good backdrop for when I get my Masters in Library Science, eventually.

WHEW! So that's just what's been happening in the past few weeks. No wonder I'm so exhausted! Imagine when I have to start packing, haha.

derilaan @ 2009-03-23T20:46:00

2009-03-24T00:46:30Z

Looks like Joe and I will be having a boy :)

Awakening a sleeping beast...(a post about my art)

2009-03-08T02:47:46Z

There was a time where I would draw everyday. Every moment I could find, I would sit down with a sketchbook and doodle, sketch, whatever. A lot of the time I would spend hours working on finished pieces. Even at Barnes and Noble, among my friends, I was known as an artist first and a bookseller second.

But if you look at Noisycat Creations, you'll notice nothing posted since 2004. Somewhere along the way, I felt that drawing was something to put away. I felt that it was a childhood dream, a useless skill. Part of me was burned out from working for Seraphim Guard. I figured, if I burned out working on projects I deeply loved (even if I never got paid, the bastards), maybe I just wasn't meant to pursue any sort of art career, even on the side. When offered my own chance at being a comic book artist, I turned it down because I knew I didn't have the skills to do it right. (I hate drawing backgrounds with a passion)

So, I stopped. I stopped doodling, I stopped drawing, I certainly haven't made very much progress on many projects. Hell, the last time I worked on my Elephaunt was over a year ago. I associated drawing with being irresponsible, so I put things away and learned more practical arts, like knitting and crocheting and actually paying my bills.

But the truth is, I have been so, so unhappy without drawing. I would sit and just go through my sketchbooks and cry. People who saw me draw would act surprised. "Oh, you draw?"

I don't know if this post even makes sense, so I will get to the point.

There is no reason why I should deny something that has been, since I was even the smallest child, a part of me as much as my heart and blood and muscles are parts of me.

I don't regret taking a break, just the reasons behind it. I'm glad I got to take a step back, breathe, and realize that art is not a choice, it is who I am, as much as books and cats are. ;)

My husband has been telling me for years to draw again, has been telling me to illustrate a book. Small steps, my beloved. I think I'll start by waking that part of me denied for far too long.

Goodness, do I have a lot of catching up to do....:)

derilaan @ 2009-03-03T13:28:00

2009-03-03T18:28:18Z

I have had more energy lately and have started the process of cleaning out the nursery. There is a huge pile of boxes full of nothing but stuff I need to sell on ebay. I'm happy to say that just through listing some on SomethingAwful's SA-Mart forum, I've already made $70. Whee! I'm selling off almost my entire comic collection, since I haven't read them in years and years. I think I still have a few boxes of anime crap, stuff like dojin and pencil boards.

Of course I went through and am keeping all Kaworu related items, all Valkyrie Profile related items, assorted artbooks, my favorite manga, all my phonebook manga magazines (they are a weakness...I can't even bring myself to sell ONE of them...) and a couple cels.

I realized I still have a BEAUTIFUL Key the Metal Idol cel with a sketch of her, if you have seen the series it is when she is "awakened"...so it is very very rare. I have another cel of Sara from Shamanic Princess, and that one I might let go. I'm definitely getting the Key one framed, eventually :3

derilaan @ 2009-02-22T13:12:00

2009-02-22T18:12:10Z

I'm really tired of being nauseous, and now I have a cold. Coughing just makes me want to throw up even more. :( Guuuh. I now it's because I'm barely eating. Hopefully the doc will have some advice on Tuesday, or at least tell me I can start taking my natal vitamins again. (He took me off them because they made me really sick).

When I start being able to eat and get cravings I am going to drink a jug of orange juice and a ton of fruit and cheese and delicious stuff. I was eating SO healthy before I got pregnant and for the first few weeks. What's the point of morning sickness if it stops you from getting good food to baby?

derilaan @ 2009-02-17T01:33:00

2009-02-17T06:33:57Z

OK so you know things are weird when your mom calls up and asks if you got her Facebook invite. Apparently, out of my family I am the last to join the bandwagon. Even my grandmother has a Facebook page.

So, if you are on Facebook, please feel free to look me up (noisycat email or Stephanie Savino)

One cool thing is, you can upload pictures from your cel phone so there are FINALLY pictures of Moxie up. I have a bazillion of them on my phone so I'll be uploading more of them. :3

derilaan @ 2009-02-17T01:02:00

2009-02-17T06:02:50Z

I changed MSN details because it was using an email from ten years ago or something.

noisycat@gmail.com is the new MSN. I'll be online a bit more now since I got that fixed.

derilaan @ 2009-02-12T20:20:00

2009-02-13T01:20:50Z

I am watching an anime titled, "Bokurano" and holy shit I thought Evangelion was depressing. It's not surprising given the same writer did NaruTaru (Shadow Star). I just read that manga and, well, wow. Someone once told me that they refused to read Stephen King after he so casually killed off a child in one of his books. "For someone to have complete control of a world and just treat a child like they are nothing, something has to be wrong with that person," the customer told me.

Yeah well Mohiro Kitoh makes Stephen King look like a fucking ice cream man. There are some scenes from NaruTaru that even days later I think about before I fall asleep and cuddle my blankets a little closer in horror.

Bokurano is really good though. It reminds me of a mech-based Boogiepop Phantom.

derilaan @ 2009-02-08T14:01:00

2009-02-08T19:01:19Z

I just added a new folder to my Bookmarks menu. "Baby Stuff."

It begins

blast from the past! my first and only AMV

2009-02-07T20:25:44Z

I completely forgot I made this until last night.

Years ago, stumbling around in Adobe Premiere I made an anime music video. I originally wanted to enter it into contests but it's pretty bad technically (interlace lines, some bad edited parts) and I got to the third edit or so before moving on to other things. (Mainly self learning Premiere wasn't going so hot and I only wanted to make one video) However, I absolutely love the way it came out. Revolutionary Girl Utena: Adolescence is still one of my all time favorite mindfuck movies. I still have the TV series and movie on DVD and I never got tired of them. I also, somehow, never got tired of the song even though I had to listen to it about 500 times in order to plan and make the video. I guess that's one recommendation I can give to any aspiring music video makers: Pick a song and show you will never tire of even after hours and hours of listening to the same twenty seconds over and over.

Here's hoping my shitty quality isn't made TOO much worse by Youtube, haha.

derilaan @ 2009-02-04T21:40:00

2009-02-05T02:40:02Z

Kathleen called a "girlfriend intervention" because I was looking depressed and let me sob on her shoulder about Gidget. She said she understood and didn't think I was stupid and then we went out for a bite to eat. I'm feeling better.

one year later

2009-02-04T22:47:52Z

Its been a year since Gidget has been gone, and I am still grief stricken and heartbroken. I don't expect people to really understand. I'm not sad she was sick at the end. I'm not hung up on how she left. The fact is, for nearly 18 years I lived, breathed, worked and centered everything around her. When I needed a place to live on my own, the first thing I looked was for cat friendly places. If I had tears to shed, she came running. If I was depressed or unmotivated, she was my sole reason for getting up and working hard.

Now that she's gone, I have felt driftless and completely at a loss for what to do for this entire year. Nothing mattered to me, not really. If I had a bad day, there was no one to comfort me, especially since the only times I had really bad days were if my husband was in a bad mood.

I'm not super close to my family. You who read my journal know a thousand things more about me than my mom. I find it hard to open up to friends. Right now I should be calling V, or hanging out with Eugene or not dreading the ride home my friend Kathleen has offered me. Maybe I'm just socially retarded. But the fact is Gidget was the one creature who knew everything about me.

I'm sure that I will feel a million times more love and happiness for my child than I could ever imagine. But right now, I feel very lonely, and alone.

Sorry for such a depressing post. 99% of the time I am happy and cheerful, but this week all I can think about is how Gidget is gone. It will pass and I'll be able to focus on the good present again, I'm sure.

derilaan @ 2009-02-01T19:10:00

2009-02-02T00:10:15Z

I'm sure it says something about me that I always rather watch the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet more than the Super Bowl, haha :3

My poor husband is at work and is getting text messages like "OMG a fluffy aussie puppy :3"

derilaan @ 2009-01-31T21:06:00

2009-02-01T02:06:55Z

I forgot to add that when I called my sister to tell her the news, she told me she was also pregnant, and this week we found out we have the same due date.

I've been singing full gusto the theme song to "The Patty Duke Show"...my husband doesn't get it.:( Someone tie him down and force him to watch some Nick At Nite, haha :)

pitter patter

2009-01-31T05:29:34Z

i could have sworn that, a few months ago, I wrote about my change from the Maiden of youth and accepted fully my turn as Mother, but I can't find the post.

It happened one night when jasmine, our Australian shepherd, fell into a serious seizure. We needed to get her to the car and Joe was very panicked and couldn't lift her. At that moment, I stepped forward, lifted a 60lb dog into my arms, and carried her without so much as a stumble. I was her mommy and by Goddess I was going to help her when she needed it.

Jasmine was fine, is fine, but that night changed me forever. For so long I had held onto the Maiden aspect of the Goddess, afraid for years that by "growing up" I would be losing the childlike part of me I and so many others saw in me.

A while later, and Joe and I decided to go off birth control. We weren't trying to have a child, we just weren't going to try not to. And that is when I let the Goddess know I was ready to be a Mother in body as well as spirit. No stress, let nature take Her course.

As time went by and November came upon us, I would joke to whoever would listen that I hoped I didn't get pregnant during that month as all I needed was another Leo in my family (Mom and sis have the same birthday, heh).

Ah...well, I should have known better. Bastet, my lovely Lady, is of course a solar deity in many aspects. She's also an overseer of pregnancy. She also has a wicked sense of humor.

So it shouldn't surprise me that I am indeed pregnant. My due date is between August 19th and 25th.

The reason I haven't posted about it sooner or about anything else is I have had extreme morning sickness, bad enough I was nearly hospitalized. I am here to attest that someone can live on pretzels and Goldfish for two months. I still feel sick, however it is seeming to wane slightly to where I have days i don't need to take medication and feel almost normal.

I'm not sure how exactly to feel. It seems unreal and scary and exhilarating at all once. I mean, it's one thing to look at your dog and cat and see they are truly, wonderfully, happy and love you, but does that mean I can give the same happiness to a child? All I can do is my best. I think it will be enough.

Joe and I agree on pretty much when the little one was conceived, and trust me this kiddo was made with two hearts full of love, respect and adoration for each other. He (or she) will have two parents who are absolutely crazy about each other. I can't even explain how supportive Joe has been. I'm basically useless being so sick. I don't think I've ever looked forward to doing laundry or dishes, but I feel so bad it will be nice to feel well enough to help out again.

We got the apartment we are in now with the third bedroom knowing eventually it would be a nursery...now to clean it out. heh.

Oh, and short story: I'm no longer at the box office. Some inappropriate things were said to me about my pregnancy and they refused to follow my doctor's orders to help me out so I quit. I'm still at the library and will continue to work there.

Hopefully as I feel better I will be able to write more. Right now I am closing up my first trimester and all I do is puke or sleep it seems. Where the heck is the glow? Haha :)

derilaan @ 2008-11-12T17:07:00

2008-11-12T22:07:21Z

Life goes on, and on.

I'm applying for a promotion; it would mean the second step in my career goal. I would be a librarian, albeit the sort who check your books out, not the ones who answer obscure questions. You wouldn't believe all the types of librarians there are. But for me, it is a goal prayed for, with my coworkers and supervisors cheering me on. It means benefits, and one full time job that I would love.

Joe and I, finally dipping into our long saved wedding money, bought a HDTV and a PS3, and are very happy with the purchases. We're still going to pay the money back; we're very good about saving and budgeting. I still tend to splurge once in awhile, like today when I ate lunch out and bought a couple used PS3 games. But I suppose my idea of splurging and everyone else's isn't the same. I'm a frugal splurger, haha.

I'm trying to get organized for Christmas. I have to figure out what to get everyone, but I'm so sidetracked by all these interviews and having two jobs I realize it's halfway through November and I haven't even made lists yet.

Moxie is coming along great. She's learned how to open boxes, cabinets, how to pull the sock drawer open...everyday it seems we have to catproof more of our house from the little raptor. She can be snuggly and sweet but mostly she's nuts crazy, running around, jumping, trying to catch her tail.

I'm very tired and don't go online a lot. I have so much stuff to take care of, and a million projects to do...Once I have a normal steady full time position things will be easier.